Trouble in Hong Kong…

an outsider's perspective of hong kong

wake me up when september ends

with 6 comments

lately i have a few lady friends confessing to me that they did not marry the man of their dreams. they said they should have married this boyfriend or that boyfriend and that they should not have married their husbands.

to be honest, i  find this statement dribbled with utter stupidity because  i know for a fact that it is so much easier to maintain a relationship with a boyfriend rather than a husband. once you marry someone, you are compounded with so many issues you never have to deal with when you are dating them. his family becomes your family and you now have to play out the expectation they have of you. then you have kids – what you were earning before is not going to be enough unless you triple it by the time they go to school. life makes its demands of you at every stage of a marriage.

during my father’s funeral, i was reunited with my aunty whom i haven’t seen in 20 years. i asked her how her husband was and this is her story..

she hates her husband. when he was young, he sat around a lot to talk about politics while she worked like crazy. now that they are old, he had a stroke and is left paralyzed – she has to take care of him.

she said jokingly – if only euthanasia was legal.

in the context of humanity – it is a very cruel thing to have said that but if i were her i think i would feel the same. i would feel angry, cheated and deep down i think we know what kind of life we deserve to have.. that’s why i feel very sad for people who are married to people who not only didn’t improve their lives but are total liabilities.

at the end of the day, in any relationship, it is up to us to want to be the best version of ourselves so that this journey of life doesn’t become a dread and a total waste of life.
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Written by smalltroubleinhk

September 17, 2011 at 9:31 am

6 Responses

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  1. It is strange that women in this day and age, with all their education and experience, are still marrying “the wrong man”. At the end of the day I believe that the partner your choose is a reflection of yourself! I suppose it is easier to place blame than to say they just wanted to be married.

    Christina

    September 17, 2011 at 12:52 pm

    • I completely agree with you on this.

      tonkadella

      November 7, 2011 at 2:06 pm

  2. I know exactly what you mean – I’ve got aunts who expressed the same sentiment as your aunt! Truth is, everyone turns out to be The Wrong One sooner or later. Personally, I even find I myself The Wrong Me…

    thenakedlistener

    September 17, 2011 at 2:50 pm

  3. Chris.. that’s not what i meant. i know some of the husbands prior to marriage. they are good people just that they did not expect marriage to be so difficult.. it has nothing to do with the level of education they receive or experience. u cannot be experienced in marriage.. how do you explain elizabeth taylor then? everything is worth a try..at the end of the day, you need to be ” trying your best all the time” or else your partner is gonna feel like wtf.. don’t just leave it to me to do all the hardwork….

    smalltroubleinhk

    September 18, 2011 at 5:15 am

  4. Of course no one can be experienced in marriage, I never said that. What I meant was people are still choosing spouses who have characteristics or traits that are unsuited to handle problems (in a marriage or otherwise), whether they care to admit it or not, thinking they can change or ignore because of Love. Elizabeth Taylor… obviously she doesn’t learn from experience. She was a romantic who I think didn’t give marriage or her husbands a lot of thought before tying the knot over and over.

    Christina

    September 20, 2011 at 4:58 am


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