in the last few weeks, i think i have at least had four people( 1 of them a friend that i had known all my life ) calling me a cynic. if you hear something continuously a few times over by people who mean something to you, it does come to the point that i need to once again, evaluate my actions, my thoughts and my words with some degree of honesty.
i am cynical but i want to be proven wrong. deep down i am a nostalgic person. i enjoy the little facets of beauty the world has to offer, i try to the best of my ability to invest in meaningful relationships with people closest to me, i try to do good most of the time if my work is not conflicted.
there are things that had bothered me and maybe in the last few months, i have allowed it to over-boil.
maybe because over the last few months, i have seen and witnessed a very disturbing dilemma that we are now facing as a generation of people.
last week, my friend told me that she has been seeing a therapist in the last few months to help cope with her divorce. i asked her the details of what was discussed at these sessions and i told her – seriously if you had come to me, i’d probably tell you the same shit, maybe with a lot less sugar coating and you don’t have to pay me a single dime
when my friend told me why he was getting a divorce, he cited the reason – touching her feels like touching myself. my jaw dropped and said – seriously i won’t be surprised if you became one of those people who die alone and people have to find your badly decomposed body after one week ( if you’re in hk and iffyou go back to the states – maybe a year) all because you were unwilling to invest in a family and let someone be your source of comfort
i am bloody pissed off with what we have become. i hate the fact that we are not willing to work on anything anymore. instant gratification. we want the government to fix our problems, we blame our parents for their shortcoming but never once, we put ourselves into the driving seat and say, this is it, i am going to take charge of my life, confront my difficulties and make it work.
before i got married, my friend ( bless her out of her goodwill) gave me a sample of a pre-nuptial contract. i thought about it hard and long and decided i am going to be one of those people who is going to find a way to work it out.
why are we paying so much for a stranger to listen to our problems? it is because we don’t have a family that is strong enough. look at all the strongest trees in a forest, look their roots – they are deeply entrenched and they are stable. when you don’t have a strong family unit, you may be successful for now but i doubt your success would be sustainable.
i am cynical because deep down i don’t like what society is teaching us. i don’t like how our kids, the things we teach them. it seems to me that we want to standardize how everyone is. we give them problems to solve by giving them examples to follow.
have you wondered why so many of us so something without committing ourselves into it? i think we lost ownership on our lives.