very recently i went to visit my friend who has a young baby i couldn’t help but notice how she had the entire house baby-proof and make it a safe environment for her 16 month baby.
i can’t help but to think – do we in general try too hard to protect our kids and attempt to create a false, presumably safe environment for them?
i think we do.
not to long ago, i had a girlfriend who told me why she had opted to leave her husband.
her husband is the only son in the family along with two other sisters. he grew up in an environment whereby his parents especially his mother did everything for him. she made all the decisions for him including where he went to school, what he studied and when he came out of university. she bought him a house, a car and when their daughter was born, his parents gladly upgraded them to a bigger apartment. when the financial tsunami came, he was made redundant and became a broken man. he took two years off to do his masters while attempting ” to figure out his life”.
the reason why my friend chose to leave him was not because he was out of a job it was because he defaulted on his responsibility to be a father and a husband.
the story of this man is common one of this generation.
i don’t like what we have become. i don’t like how we try and make the world seem like a safe place and how risks could be calculated and explained. if we examined the world as a jungle, we know that at every point, our life is at peril because of its predatory natural state. why do we falsely think that we could protect our children? we can’t make them live in a bubble.
i listen to people all the time and i ask them things that make them unhappy about life and about their jobs. it’s always the same thing. they don’t like office politics, they don’t like how they are treated at work, they don’t like how they are paid – a lot of times even when you talk to the most educated people, you would be shocked at how they really see the world. they really think that bing bang boom – they deserve the best jobs with the best bosses and the best opportunities to land on their laps just like that. i don’t know what happened along the way, it’s like we got fooled and trapped in this conspiracy thinking that on the day we were born, we would all be living a glorious wonderful life.
if i were a parent, i would want my kids to be able to figure things out on their own. i think that i would want to try and do everything i could for them but the fact is, we won’t know how strong we truly are until we are tested. i like to think that people do not have thresholds because the best of us are made out of hardship and desperation. i would want my kids to be the best versions of themselves and that they need the only option they have at life is to work hard at finding solutions. if i were a parent, the best thing i think i could do for my kids is make them aware that their best chance at life is awareness and managing pain the right but hard way.