time and time again
towards the end of my father’s life, i think he wanted to spend more time with us. the morning when he passed away, i thought about how sad life was- when i was young he never had time for me and now that i am an adult working 10-12 hours a day, living in a different country i don’t have time for him. and now that he is dead i guess we wouldn’t have time for each other anymore.
in many ways i think i have been really blessed because in the last few years of my life, i have spent a lot of time working on mending/improving the relationships i have with the people closest to me. looking back as early as three years ago, my brothers and i could never talk to each other because it always end up with a fight but today, i think we found mutual respect and acknowledgement for each other’s unique personalities.
i have been thinking a lot about people, about happiness and about life in general a lot lately. i have become acutely aware that it has become increasingly difficult for people to be happy these days. maybe it is how we think about life in general.
this is what my good friend said about life and it makes a lot of sense. to him life is 70% suffering and his goal is try to reduce that to 60%. on how he reduces that down to a 60% – he said he loves every minute of what he does, he accepts difficult people and he accepts difficult situations. and he said if you are lucky, because of that passion, commitment towards life – you attract good people and they help you manage life to be even more bearable. it’s a philosophy i am working hard to understand. hopefully i can see the bigger picture.
anyways, back to the good things my dad’s death had brought about. i haven’t seen his side of the family – my uncles, aunties and cousins in years. we have reconnected and we have made plans to meet every year for chinese new year. thank god for facebook as well !!!
i am never going to waste a single minute of my life….