one of the reasons why i fear being a mother is the fact that i think i would one of those chinese mothers described in amy chua’s book battle hymn of the tiger mother. i am extremely capable of almost all of that – everything you can imagine of a chinese woman – manipulative, competitive and driven, i am that – read this article about tiger mothers
to be born chinese i have come to realized certain things about how we raise children in general.besides the jewish people, us the chinese are the second biggest diaspora.almost everywhere in the world, chinese people are discriminated – we are second class citizens. i can tell you in malaysia, we have to work three times as hard just to prove ourselves. there is no such thing as an easy ride for us and therefore that insecurity made us very competitive and paranoid about losing out.
also the world has become so competitive these days, we worry that our children will not be good enough to be who they want to be. as a mother who wants to see their child turned away at the door for not having the right qualifications and skills. opportunities wait for no one.
on the other hand, now that i am older – i see the crack in the system.
whenever chinese parents get together to brag about their children’s achievements, no one really talks about raising happy contented children. growing up being pushed to the edge, sometimes it makes me feel as though i could never be good enough for anything. i am always chasing for more.
it took me a long time to tell myself, i need to run at my own pace and not based on anyone’s pace.
my good friend dian said this – contentment is understated. not many people realize this but contentment is attainable at every stage of your life. that is so much more important than being happy because the ups and downs of being happy and unhappy is far too erratic.
the depth of this statement sent shivers down my spine.