2011 new year resolution
first of all, my grandmother was a pretty damn good cook and when she passed away, a portion of the tears i cried during her funeral went to all the great recipes she took to her grave. no one else in the family could cook as well as she did.
it has been three years since she passed away and since her demise, i have tried very hard to unravel into my consciousness hoping to recall what she had thought me about food and cooking. i was never a good apprentice and those days, my tasks were menial ones. washing vegetables, helping her cut food up. i had too little patient.
little that i know, i will have to spend the rest of my life attempting to relive her legacy through cooking.
one of my new year resolutions for 2011 is to eat better. when i say better, i don’t mean dining out at fancy restaurants. i mean, i want to cook my own food. i want to know exactly what goes into my food.
i am terribly at reading instructions. so i have been cooking using my intuition and not rely on recipe books. i have been trying to use my common sense to match flavors of food together.sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t but what the hell right, life is about learning through experience.
i must admit, i am egoistic by nature. looking back, there are a lot of things in life, i did it to prove a point. a point to myself that whatever i do, if i put my mind to it i’d be able to do it.
results drive me.. i am so addicted to results sometimes it kills me. i asked my husband today after our home-cooked winter solstice dinner – do you think i am a good cook?
he said yes..
i think i should just invite some people over and get their judgement. sometimes i think he loves me so much, he doesn’t dare to say i am terrible at anything.
i miss my grandma – it will be her birthday on the her 27th. if she was still around, she’d be 81.
“grandma you know you left so abruptly, you never gave me closure”.